FREEDOM From Narcissistic Abuse

By Will Perry

Are You HAPPY?

And How To Connect To Your Inner Joy.

Are You Happy Though - Really?

Holiday Seasons can be tough on Relationships - being pulled in lots of different directions, too many things to do and all you want to do is hide under the duvet!

Well, that might be a slight exaggeration but you get what I mean, we often have to do things we're not that keen on to keep the peace.

Yet is there something deeper going on?

I See So Many Fake Smiles.

My 90-Day Coaching BluePrint is focussed on helping clients to finally separate from their Narcissistic partner.

I say finally as they will always have tried many ways and many times before they engage my services.

So they are ready to leave, they just haven't manage to do it themselves for a myriad or reasons.

You know a great indicator of when something within you has changed for good?

When someone you don't expect, comments on the positive change they've seen in you.

Well I was reflecting with one of my clients recently and she said it was very confirming when someone, who she doesn't know that well had commented on 'what a happy bubble' her and her young daughter were now in, since she had separated from her husband.

To hear how this relative stranger had noticed that her tension and anxiety had been replace by a certain lightness and joy, took her by surprise and made her realise just how far she had come in that short time.

And she told me that this conversation went on to how this lady wasn't that happy in her marriage and that she knew she wasn't alone, going on to cite a few more of her friends that were struggling, in quiet desperation.

And my client went on to add how she could see the FAKE SMILES in so many people now.

Women covering up their misery, keeping busy or through material things, in fear of being seen for how they really felt - and how that was quite shocking to her.

She knew that she used to look like that - with that fake smile.

And I agree. I've been there myself, smiling through quiet desperation.

It's not a nice place to be. It feels cold, empty, hopeless and futile. You feel utterly helpless and trapped.

Burying Your Head In The Sand.

It's that classic ostrich analogy - burying your head in the sand, with whatever distraction it might be, doesn't solve the problem.

In fact it often only makes things worse.

The Problem Won't Go Away.

Sitting it out and hoping something will change is one strategy.

Yet it's not a good one.

Leaving Life to chance.

Hey, it can't get any worse - Right?

You'd hope.

But when you understand Narcissistic traits you realise that things always get worse with these types of controlling people.

Explore, Understand And Adjust.

I help my clients understand the dynamics of what's going on because a Narcissist has no desire to be in a relationship with another Narcissist - they need someone they can control and have POWER OVER.

And it's a really difficult thing to see, that you might be a VICTIM to this person you thought, perhaps still feel, is the love of your Life, even the better half of you.

That's why I say you have to be really HONEST with yourself, not because you're in any way dishonest, but because you're wired to think that you are the problem, that the issues are somehow your fault and this wonderful person you put on a pedestal can't possibly be at fault...

You might feel gloriously lucky to have them in your Life.

And putting your partner on a pedestal is not a healthy balance in a relationship.

So there's some 'wiring' in your brain that's a little 'out of kilter' attracting a Narcissist and resisting you from seeing it for what it is.

You'll want to adjust that.

Then you'll want to practice standing in your own POWER, taking control of your Life, rather than going along with other people's views all the time in a hope of keeping the peace and avoiding confrontation.

Support is key here, as it's new territory to you and I say that humbly. I've been on this journey too, I know how there are thousand's of ways we can trip ourselves up and slide back into to old habits.

I know how bloody frustrating that is

And you'll probably be ridiculed for it too.

Narcissists know how to hurt you.

And make out like it wasn't anything they said or did.

It's never their fault after all.

So creating a NEW PATH for your Life and then WALKING IT takes some doing.

Most people fail.

And sink further into silent desperation. Wearing a fake smile.

Which is why the clients who do come to me for help, know they are ready to finally step out, take control and that I will support them in doing so - guaranteed.

And having someone you don't know that well, tell you how well you're doing, just confirms that it was worth it.

We can't get the back the lost time, yet we can make what we have left better, for good.

Conclusion.

The situation so many of us find ourselves in might be a result of our evolving culture. Pervious generations have put up with unhappy marriages and generations further back were overtly about power and control.

We can gain benefit from examining what constitutes happiness for us and how we can bring a healthy balance within a relationship.

But what isn't in question, which has developed with our generation, is that people who are high in Narcissistic Traits will not want to, nor be able to compromise sufficiently within a relationship.

So finding out if your partner is high in these traits is pretty fundamental you your future happiness.

And it's not like they are going to take a psychological test for you if they are.

The first step I take my clients through is the short, on-line '12 Days To Decide' programme, which helps them highlight dominant patterns to see what the real problem is - this includes direct time with me so you get the benefit of my experience and it comes with a money back guarantee too, so there's no risk to you: use THIS LINK for more information.

If you start to notice your fake smile in the mirror or perhaps in pictures friends and family take, maybe it's time to start being more honest with yourself about the question...

"Are you Happy?"

Because I deserve to be HAPPY do I not?

And if your answer is yes, then the same is true for you. You just might be tripping over all the reasons in your brain for not good enough - none of which are true... that's just your wonky-wiring.

Oh, and happy doesn't mean everything's easy by the way. It just means it's in YOUR CONTROL.

Thank you for your time and here's to A HAPPY ENDING.

Will
x

Take the FREE Self-Esteem Test - and find out what self-esteem has to do with what might be holding you back in Life...

Sign Up and Subscribe to get the latest updates, straight to your inbox.

Keep the conversation ALIVE subscribe to Will's FREE content because this stuff doesn't fix itself - it takes work. Don't let this slip back... you ARE worth it.