FREEDOM From Narcissistic Abuse
By Will Perry
Can A Narcissist Love?
And What To Do When It Turns Toxic
Do They Love Me?
Narcissistic traits can be characterised by a sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.
While some people with narcissistic traits may have the ability to love, their love tends to be very different from what is considered to be healthy and genuine.
A narcissist's view of love is often centred on the idea of being admired and having their ego stroked. They are drawn to partners who have low self-esteem because these individuals are more likely to put up with the narcissist's demanding and controlling behaviour. This enables the narcissist to maintain their sense of superiority and reinforces their belief in their own greatness.
However, this type of love is not sustainable because it is based on an unequal power dynamic. The partner with low self-esteem is often treated as an object to be used to fulfil the narcissist's needs and desires, rather than as a genuine partner who is loved and valued for who they are.
This can result in the partner feeling used, disrespected, and manipulated.
Moreover, a narcissist's lack of empathy means they don’t understand, respond to or care about their partner's needs and feelings. The partner of a narcissist is likely to feel drained and exhausted due to the constant demands or expectations placed upon them.
They may feel like they are ‘walking on eggshells’ afraid of saying or doing something that will trigger the narcissist's anger or criticism. They often feel unvalued and under-appreciated, as the relationship is usually focussed solely on the needs, the mood or the desires of the narcissist.
Emotional Abuse.
The partner may experience a decline in their self-esteem and self-worth as a result of the constant criticism and manipulation. This is where the relationship becomes emotionally abusive, where the partner is made to feel worthless, unloved, and insignificant.
In the long-term, this type of relationship can have serious negative impacts on the partner's self-esteem, mental health and overall well-being and in more severe cases, they may develop anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues as a result of the toxic nature of the relationship.
It is important to note that leaving an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist can be an extremely difficult thing to do, as they often use a variety of tactics to maintain control over their partner, making it difficult for them to leave the relationship. Some of these tactics include:
Guilt-tripping: The narcissist may make their partner feel guilty or responsible for the problems in the relationship, making them feel like they are abandoning the relationship or the narcissist by leaving.
Emotional manipulation: The narcissist may use their partner's emotions against them, making them feel like they are causing pain or hurt by leaving. They may also make false promises or play on their partner's fears to keep them in the relationship.
Threats: The narcissist may make threats, such as threatening to harm themselves or others, to keep their partner in the relationship. They may also threaten to ruin their partner's reputation or spread false rumours about them.
Isolation: The narcissist may attempt to isolate their partner from friends, family, and support systems, making it more difficult for them to leave the relationship.
These tactics can make it extremely difficult for the partner to leave the relationship, as they may feel like they have no choice but to stay.
It's important for anyone in a relationship with a narcissist to seek support from someone who has a detailed understanding of the dynamics of an emotionally abusive relationship.
Conclusion.
While a narcissist may be capable of loving, it is often not a healthy or genuine form of love.
Their tendency is to seek out partners with low self-esteem, which can lead to emotionally abusive and damaging relationships that have long-lasting negative impacts on their partners.
All the time the narcissist will be concerned about maintaining the facade of looking successful and happy, which is why it’s so difficult to be sure if a friend or loved one is being abused; because the narcissist seems so kind and considerate and the partner is usually in complete denial, blaming themselves for any faults.
The cruel abuse and manipulation always happens behind closed doors.Â
It is important for anyone in a relationship with a narcissist to seek support.
If you want to see if you are vulnerable to emotional abuse, you can take this quick, confidential, and completely free self-esteem test, it gives you an instant result: use this link.
If you find your score is low then you are more likely to attract a narcissist. If you want to understand how to improve your self-esteem, then the first step I take my clients through is my short, on-line '12 Days To Decide' programme.
This 12 day Programme helps you to understand why you have low self-esteem, the impact it’s having on your life and what steps you need to take to overcome it. This step only costs £47 and includes direct 1:1 time with me so you get the benefit of my experience - I have even put a money back guarantee in place too, so there's absolutely no risk to you: use THIS LINK for more information.
I hope this has been useful to you.
Loves you boyo
Will
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